Synthetic Life

Ah, yes, there's nothing like braving the insanity of the opening day masses to see a blockbuster film, especially one as highly anticipated as Star Wars: Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. (Okay, there's no way I'm typing all of that again, so herein it will be referred to as ROTS. If you want, you can skip straight to my mini-review. Don't worry, no spoilers.)

Oh, sure, I could've gone to see it a couple of weeks later, when the crowds will have died down some. As I've said before, I normally do avoid opening weekends, but this wasn't just any other movie; this was an event (regardless of whether or not you're a Star Wars fan). I'm not a SW devotee, but I enjoy getting caught up in the hoopla. It's fun and exciting. I just hoped that I wasn't going to end up sitting next to someone dressed up in a Stormtrooper costume.

Fortunately, that didn't happen. Unfortunately, however, I ended up sitting next to Mr. Obnoxious Moviegoer. (I have the worst luck when it comes to things like this.)

Obnoxious Moviegoer came to see the movie solo, just like me. I was on the aisle and had already taken my seat when Sir Obnoxious comes along later and decides to sit in the seat immediately next to me. Mind you there are several other open seats in this row, including the two beside him. (I'd estimate the theater was about 75% full.) But no, he must sit right next to me.

I had a feeling that this was going to be bad from that initial impression. This was reinforced shortly thereafter when Captain Obnoxious starts commenting to no one in particular during the trailers. (Apparently he came solo in body but not in mind.) Oh boy.

Movie starts and he's clapping and whooping it up. That's fine, it's part of the SW geek experience. During the light saber duels, he starts yelling like it's a boxing match. Slightly annoying but still tolerable.

Then he kicks the obnoxiousness into high gear when he starts reciting the lines along with the characters on-screen. Why do people do this? The last time this happened was when I went to see Miss Saigon and the guy sitting next to me sang along. What is the matter with these people? I came here to watch the actors act (well, what passes for acting in ROTS anyhow), not listen to someone who has watched the film way too many times.

I would've said something but then I got scared when he started talking to the characters in the movie. (No, not talking like the woman with whom I shared a hospital room when I had back surgery in 1997. She kept on yelling at Xena to watch out for the bad guys. Extremely annoying but it can at least be attributed to enthusiasm. Lots of enthusiasm.)

No, Darth Obnoxious was displaying some genuine hatred here, particularly towards Anakin and Darth Sidious. Whenever they did anything wicked, he would say something like "You lying bastard," or "That asshole" or the ever colorful "Son of a bitch."

That's pretty creepy. I wouldn't want to mess with someone who can get that pissed at some character in a movie, would you? (He wasn't some scrawny SW geek either.) Who knows what kind of crazy shit someone like that can do? So I just tried my best to ignore Lord Obnoxious and pay attention to the movie.

Oh, yes, the movie. There's that. Well, ironically enough, the acronym ROTS is quite appropriate for the film.

Alright, it's really not that bad. It does have an 83% fresh rating over at Rotten Tomatoes, so an overwhelming majority of the critics did like it. And there were indeed some great moments in the film, including a few that were quite stirring. Watching Anakin slowly slide to the dark side was riveting given that we all know what is going to happen to him in the future.

Yet I couldn't help but feel that this, like the previous two movies, could have been so much better. It's not the debacle that Phantom was, nor is it as boring as much of Clones was, but the film overall still left me wanting - a feeling of "That's it?" Sure, the light saber duels were fun, but there's a sense of emptiness to it all. They reminded me of the spectacular fight scenes in Matrix Reloaded. Visually stimulating, but emotionally lacking. I was expecting to be wow'ed, but I couldn't help but leave the theater feeling letdown.

Perhaps the build-up of expectations to the end of this trilogy was so large that there was no way ROTS could ever live up to it. The poor acting, horrible dialogue, and laughable love scenes don't help either. (I love Natalie Portman, but she's just been awful in the trilogy. Only Hayden Christensen was worse, which is tragic because his is the central character of the story.) It's telling when the best "actor" in the film was little, digital Yoda.

In the end, the diehard followers of the series will love it, casual fans will flock to see it regardless of what they've heard about it, and all can breathe easy now that the story is finally over. Revenge of the Sith is no great film, but it provides an adequate, if disappointing, ending to what was a great tale.

(Funniest moment of the whole experience? As the movie started and people were clapping, someone let out a Chewbacca roar. Hilarious. That, my friends, is inspired comedy.)

They say that there are two constants in life: death and taxes. I would humbly submit that another be added to the list: Starbucks. Because it seems that no matter where you go, there is always a Starbucks ready to serve up your latest hit of caffeine.

Granted, I do live in the megatropolis of New York City, where the saturation point leaves us drenched in coffee. With 166 stores within a 5 mile radius of my office, you can understand how one would get the impression that they are everywhere. (There's even an arrangement a few blocks away where there are two Starbucks that are literally right across the street from one another. And they both do fantastic business.)

The situation is better near my apartment, where there are only 11 stores nearby. Yet even here I still cannot escape the specter of that Starbucks siren. The closest store just happens to be across the street from my building. Every time I step foot outside, I hear it calling "Come! Drink my overpriced cup of caffeine and be addicted for life!" (Thank god I don't drink coffee.)

You might think that you can escape the ubiquity by going overseas. You would be wrong. Regardless of where my travels have taken me, I have always found a Starbucks there.

In fact, finding one in whatever city I am has become something of a game now. A Where's Waldo? of sorts. You just never know where you'll find a Starbucks because you'll often come across them in the most unexpected places.

One of the funniest places that I've seen one was in Vienna, Austria. That might not seem so odd to you, but it was very ironic and humorous to me.

Vienna, you see, is supposed to be one of the epicenters of coffee culture. These people are connoisseurs of the stuff. So I was greatly surprised to turn the corner one day and see, in this wonderfully refined city of cafés, another branch of the king of commercialized coffee shops that is Starbucks.

That was pretty amusing. But an even more hilarious location for a Starbucks is one that I found during my trip to China.

That's right. A Starbucks in the Forbidden City. The Forbidden freaking City!

Somehow, I just can't imagine that the grand emperors ever envisioned one of these on the imperial grounds.

There are so many things that I miss about Taiwan and China: the food, the shopping, the sights, just the fun of exploring a foreign land. Normally by the end of such a long trip, I'd be longing for home and ready to head back. It was different in this case. I didn't want to come back yet, and I'm not particularly glad to be home now either. It's been four days since I returned, and the longing has not dissipated one bit.

It's not as if it's some paradise over there. It clearly isn't. Serious problems exist there. Yet there's something. Something I feel more than I know. It's hard for me to verbalize what it is exactly, but the trip has had a profound impact on me. Something's changed.

I suppose being immersed in an entirely different culture for a month would have that kind of an effect on a person. Yet this wasn't just any culture. It was my culture.

It's no secret that growing up I've never really felt that Chinese or even Asian. Certainly it was a part of who I was, but I never really identified with that piece of myself. I was more of an American who happened to be of Chinese descent than I was a Chinese American.

For the first time that I can recall, I feel Chinese. I hardly heard or spoke any English for a month. And it was great. I was surrounded by people that were just like me. Oh, sure, they behaved and thought differently from me and my American upbringing, but we shared the same ethnicity and the same cultural history. Regardless of where we were actually from, there was a common bond that tied us together. We were all descendants of an ancient civilization that has had an incredible wealth of fantastic achievements and tragic failures.

Despite communication difficulties and awkward social adjustments, I felt like I belonged in a way that I never really have before. Seeing the sights and discovering the stories behind them was an eye-opening experience. I wasn't just learning about some nation's history. I was learning about my history, too.

First a small earthquake, then witnessing the political turmoil of cross-strait relations between Taiwan and China firsthand. While there isn't much on a tourist's to-do list here in Taipei, I've certainly had quite an interesting time in the final stop of my month-long adventure.

Last night, I returned from my excursion to Sun Moon Lake just in time to see the immense police presence in central Taipei in preparation for the return of Lien Chen from his historic visit to the mainland. It just so happens that Chen lives across the street from my aunt's apartment where we are staying. Thus we got to see lots of news vans, barricades and hundreds of riot police right outside our window. I was wondering if I would witness a near riot on the scale that took place when Chen first left Taiwan to visit China a little over a week ago (I was in Shanghai), but alas, the security forces did an excellent job of keeping the protesters away this time.

For those who don't know, a quick crash course in modern Chinese history: When the Communists defeated the Nationalists (KMT) in 1949, the KMT retreated to the island of Taiwan and established their government there. Ever since then, there's been a dispute about whether Taiwan was a sovereign nation or a renegade province of the mainland, with China threatening to use military force if Taiwan were to make any official declaration of independence. The United States, while diplomatically recognizing Beijing as the official China, has longed pledged to defend Taiwan if China were to attack. Thus the ambiguous status of the island through the years.

The Taiwanese are mostly split on the issue, with a sizable percentage in the middle wanting to maintain the status quo of a sovereign nation in function if not by name. Accordingly, there are two main political parties here: the KMT who favors reunification and the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) whose platform supports independence.

If you think the political situation in America is bad, you should see the strife here. People really know their politics and their allegiances are clearly defined. In many ways, it is refreshing to see given how apathetic much of the population is back in America. However, it is also alarming to realize how profoundly divided the people are here. Views and opinions are deeply rooted.

It is therefore easy to understand the intense anger expressed by many over Chen's diplomatic trip to China. As the former vice president of Taiwan and the current chairman of the KMT, it's a big win for China to land a visit from such a major figure in Taiwanese government. Where this will lead no one really knows, but it's certainly a historic time to be here in Taiwan.